Why Apologizing is Good for You and Your Loved Ones

1. Deal with remorse constructively. Extending an apology helps you take responsibility for your actions and hold yourself accountable. In this way, you free yourself from the guilt that may follow lapses in judgment.

• This is especially true if you back up your words with positive actions.

2. Improve your future conduct. By reflecting on your actions and sharing your experience with another person, you make a deep impression in your mind.

• This motivation will help you resolve to do better the next time you’re in a similar situation. When you strive to improve your behavior in the future, what you’re doing is bigger than just an apology; it’s an amends.

3. Mitigate the harm you may have done. Just by hearing an apology, the person you wronged is likely to start feeling better. It’s a natural reaction – when we know that someone feels sorry for their negative effects on us because they value us and care about how we feel, we enjoy significant relief and a reduction in anger.

4. Encourage forgiveness. We all need to be forgiven from time to time throughout our lives. Apologies and amends help to speed the process along.

• Studies show that receiving an apology helps people feel less threatened. We develop more compassion and find mistakes easier to forgive.

5. Maintain healthy relationships. Conflicts are inevitable, but you can promote healing. Apologizing and forgiving creates an atmosphere of mutual respect, trust, and cooperation.

Tips for Delivering a Sincere Apology

1. Generate remorse. Reflect on your actions and how they affected the other person. If the situation is emotionally charged, take time to calm down in a neutral setting. Talk with others if you need some objective input. Feel good about your courage in facing the facts head on.

2. Express your regret. State clearly that you take full responsibility for your conduct. Acknowledge the impact you had on the other person.

3. Propose a constructive remedy. Be prepared to state what you’re willing to do to right the wrong. It will demonstrate that you’re serious. Give the other person a chance to propose what they need so you can work together to patch things up. This turns your apology into an amends.

4. Listen to the other person. Be open to however the other person decides to respond. You can feel good about your willingness to make reparations, however things turn out.

• Sometimes you’ll enjoy an immediate reconciliation. But be patient if the other person needs more time.

Additional Suggestions

1. Apologize in person. Your apology carries more weight when you make it in person than if you just text or e-mail it. Face-to-face discussions also help avoid compounding potential misunderstandings.

2. Apologize promptly. It’s easier to untangle a knot while it’s still fresh. A prompt confession can prevent resentments from building.

3. Evaluate any feelings of humiliation. Do you feel that saying you’re sorry is a sign of weakness? Actually, it takes great courage and wisdom to face unpleasant realities and communicate openly. Rejoice in the knowledge that you’re making life better for you and those you love.

4. Know when you need help. If you’re asking forgiveness for the same thing over and over, it may be a sign that you need help to make lasting changes. Counseling or support groups can help you deal with chronic concerns like addictions or anger issues.

Understanding the importance of forgiveness can help you resolve conflicts and lead a more fulfilling life. Use these techniques to make your apologies more sincere and effective.

Family Nights can be an incredibly uplifting way to bring your family closer together.

What is Family Night?

Family Night is an evening designated by parents (usually) when everyone in the immediate family suspends their busy social calendars to spend time with each other. Some experts suggest that Family Night occur every week, for example, every Thursday night. Parents make it clear that all family members must be present.

One of the jobs parents have is to keep family interaction as positive, illuminating, and fun for the kids as possible. Spending time regularly with family members provides opportunities to re-connect and instills the value of family in children. Regular Family Nights enable you to accomplish these goals.

What Can You Do For Family Night?

The great thing about Family Night is that your family can do whatever you like to do together.

These ideas show you some of the ways your family can re-connect and have fun:

1. Cook dinner together. For example, your teenage son can make the salad, your daughter sets up the table, Mom cooks the entrée, and Dad has the side dishes under control.

2. Watch a movie. Have dessert, popcorn, or other snacks after dinner while relaxing and watching the movie.

• Let the kids take turns picking the movie.

• Or you might select a film you believe covers educational or interesting topics to discuss with the kids after viewing.

• Of course, you can also go out to a movie theater to watch a film on Family Night.

3. Go out to dinner. Let each member of the family take turns selecting where you’ll go to dine.

• Make it fascinating, fun and educational by introducing the kids to a cuisine of a different culture each week.

4. Take part in a fun activity together, like walking, biking, or playing baseball. Incorporating healthy physical activities into your weekly Family Night is smart because kids learn to enjoy regular exercise and focus on physical health as a family.

5. Occasionally, do a family project together. Family Night might also be spent with the family working together to complete a project around the house.

• Painting the driveway, pulling weeds and trimming plants outdoors, or even washing the car are examples of projects that families can do together on Family Night.

• When a family works together, children can learn all kinds of important lessons about teamwork, perseverance, correcting errors, and feeling pride about a job well done.

• It’s best not to do a work project every week.

6. Vary your Family Night activities. Try something different each week.

• You could post a short list of things to do and let the kids take turns picking the weekly activity.

Having regular Family Nights are important to the development of a well-functioning, happy family. With these ideas and your own adventurous spirit, you and your family can enjoy many wonderful experiences. Discover the joys of scheduling regular Family Nights together.

So where do you start?

Try these exhilarating outdoor exercises:

1. Go cycling. Cycling around the block or in a nearby park is the perfect way to spend your summer mornings before work. Not only is cycling a rigorous, effective form of exercise, but it is also an activity that allows you to enjoy summer and feel inspired to keep doing it every morning.

• As you ride, you can feel the breeze gently caressing your face.

• You can take in the sights and sounds of your surroundings as you pass by.

• You’ll feel refreshed when you get back home, even though you’ve exerted a ton of energy!

2. Run on the beach. If you’re looking for an outdoors workout that combines effectiveness with scenery, then try running on the beach! It will provide all you’re looking for in an exercise option and more:

• Doing sprints up and down the sand really works those muscles and provides the resistance you need for an effective workout.

• The tranquility of the ocean takes your mind away so you don’t feel as worn out while you exercise.

• You can jump in the ocean to cool off after you’ve completed your workout.

3. Swim. Going swimming in your community pool is another great outdoor exercise option that makes the most of a beautiful summer. When the sun is high, this is perhaps the only outdoor exercise you can do without feeling dehydrated. The water is sure to keep you cool while you work those muscles!

• Remember to wear sun block, even on cloudy days.

• Do a few stretches before jumping in the pool so your muscles are warm enough to start.

• Combine speed laps with recovery laps so you can give your lungs and muscles a break from time to time.

4. Take a hike! If you really want to see the beauty of nature while exercising during the summer months, consider hiking on high hills. There are many advantages to choosing this form of exercise, including:

• The climate is cooler and enjoyable when you get to the top of the hiking trail.

• The views you’ll see from up high will definitely take your breath away!

• The achievement you’ll feel after completing the hike will be completely exhilarating.

It would be a complete shame to waste those beautiful summer days by working out on a treadmill or a stationary bike in your basement! Go out and capture the glory of the outdoors while you can. When winter rolls around again, you might not have the opportunity.

With these ideas for exercise, you have absolutely no excuse to stay indoors. And after the first day of outdoor summer exercise, you’ll be totally excited to do it again the following day – and every day after until the winter chill drives you reluctantly back indoors!

Our brains have an ability to actually change structure and physiology in response to new stimuli and challenges. To give your mind this kind of food for growth, try some of the suggestions below.

1. Play mental games. Crosswords, brain teasers, mazes, Sudoku, and other puzzles are all effective ways to challenge your mind. So try something new and really give your brain a workout. Even the occasional video game has something to offer.

• These are especially good if they’re new experiences for you. Someone just beginning crossword puzzles is going to experience more improvement in mental fitness than someone that has been doing them for years.

2. Exercise regularly. Moving your body during exercise accomplishes many things:

• The brain is forced to send stronger impulses to your muscles when moving vigorously or against resistance.

• The coordination required and the use of muscles not normally used both challenge the brain.

• The flow of blood and nutrients through the brain is increased.

3. Play music. Learning a new musical instrument is a great way to challenge your mental fitness. This is particularly true for someone who has never played a musical instrument.

• Learning musical theory is like learning a new language. Not only is music an enjoyable way to spend free time, but it’s also great for your brain. Now might be the perfect time to pull out the phone book and look into piano or violin lessons.

4. Meditate your way to mental fitness. Meditation challenges your brain by creating a new mental state. It’s relaxing, plus it teaches your mind the ability to focus, which is a huge task for many of us. Meditation is a great way to improve mental fitness.

5. Read something new every day. Reading is a complicated mental process that requires processing information quickly. Try reading something new that interests you. You’ll get the added benefit of novelty, enhance your brain function, and learn something as well.

6. Challenge your memory. Each day, take a minute and try to remember the previous day. What did you have for lunch? What happened at work? Try to remember what you did last weekend. What happened last Christmas?

• Make a list of 10 items and then see if you can remember them without cheating! Part of the memory loss sometimes associated with aging is due to not using our powers of recollection on a regular basis.

7. Watch less television. You’ll be amazed how much better you feel in every way if you watch less TV. You can do so many things to improve your mind and body that you’ll never get around to if you’re watching too much TV. They don’t call it the idiot box for nothing.

Your mental fitness doesn’t have to decline dramatically as you age. The key is to expose yourself to new and challenging experiences on a regular basis. So break up your routine and try something new.

Doing something new that makes you really think is even better. Turn off the TV and work on a crossword puzzle. Take up the guitar. Try a physical activity that’s new to you. There are lots of ways to improve your mental fitness. You can get started today!

Benefits of Having Compassion for Yourself

1. Experience greater happiness. Self-compassion means valuing yourself and treating yourself well. You’re bound to feel better when you remove negative self-talk and become a better friend to yourself.

2. Accomplish your goals more easily. There’s no need to criticize yourself to eliminate bad habits. Accept your flaws and focus on action plans that are realistic for you. If you break your diet, start again with the next meal. If you’re denied one job opening, beef up your resume so you’re ready for the next opening.

3. Become more resilient. Accept that life is full of ups and downs; take them in stride instead of being derailed by self-pity. You’ll bounce back faster when you realize that challenges and setbacks are as inevitable as rainy days.

4. Feel more motivated. When you learn to value yourself, you’ll feel more committed to making investments in your future. Giving yourself the freedom to make mistakes reduces the anxiety that holds you back from trying new things.

5. Feel more connected with others. The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer suggested that we call each other “my fellow sufferer.” When we realize that we all want to be happy but we often need to become more skillful at creating happiness, we recognize how much we have in common with everyone around us.

6. Express more compassion towards others. If you’re gentle with yourself, you’re more apt to carry that mindset into your interaction with loved ones and strangers. You’ll be mindful of the challenges we all face and have a stronger desire to help others.

Methods For Developing More Compassion for Yourself

1. Dispel the myths about self-compassion. You may associate being gentle with being lazy. But with compassion, you’re channeling your time and energy into constructive activities rather than beating up on yourself.

2. Take charge of your emotions. Accepting disappointments as part of life enables you to remain at peace. You can accept your true feelings without letting them overwhelm you.

3. Change your self-talk. We sometimes say things to ourselves that we would regard as too hurtful to say to anyone else. Focus on giving yourself practical suggestions rather than calling yourself names.

4. Relax. Create an environment where you can generate compassion. Reduce stress and transition into a better frame of mind with meditation or some soft music.

5. Treat yourself to something nice. Just like you bring a meal over to a sick friend, look for ways to be your own benefactor. Brew a cup of your favorite tea or commiserate with yourself if you get stuck in heavy traffic.

6. Surround yourself with positive role models. If you feel like you’ve been conditioned to be harsh with yourself as the only way to get results, you may need to surround yourself with reminders to stay on your new path. Observe people who seem compassionate and adapt their methods to your own situation. Read books or take a workshop on compassion.

It’s easier to overcome difficult situations when you learn to cherish and comfort yourself. Practicing self-compassion will bring you greater peace of mind and closer to your life goals.

When self-talk is positive and helpful, amazing things can happen. When self-talk is negative, life can be much more challenging than it has to be.

Like much of who you are, your style of self-talk is a habit that has been molded by your experiences and environment. Imagine how your life could change for the better if you were able to alter your self-talk into something more supporting and encouraging.

You can start living that life today! Just follow these simple steps to get started:

1. Make a list of your negative self-talk phrases and attitudes. For 24 hours, record everything you say to yourself that isn’t supportive, regardless of whether or not you think it’s true. Here are a few examples to get you thinking:

•  ”He would never want to talk to me.”
•  ”I’m not good enough for that.”
•  ”I could never do that.”
•  ”Things will never get better.”

2. Prioritize your list. Which items have the greatest negative impact on your life and your sense of happiness? Put the list in order, from greatest negative impact to least.

•  Prioritizing is important because it will naturally force you to spend your time on the most important items.

3. Create a new list. Now that you’ve made your list, you’re going to improve it. Convert at least the first 10 items on your list into positive thoughts. If you’re feeling motivated, you can rewrite as many more as you like.

•  Even if you don’t believe the new, positive idea, just change it into a positive version. For example, “I could never do that” changes to, “I can do anything I set my mind to.”

4. Change your thinking. Now, for the challenging part. Each time you catch yourself engaging in self-talk matching an item from your list, substitute the new self-talk expression.

• Be diligent at all times. Considering how many times you may have said the negative item to yourself, this new practice will require a lot of attention. The good news is that over time, the positive things you say to yourself will become a habit, too!

5. Move further down the list. After you’ve conquered the 10 most negative items, look at the list and consider how it would improve your life to change those remaining negative self-talk items. You may have formed such positive habits with your first 10 items that the rest of them might not really be applicable anymore!

Self-talk will always be there, so it will benefit you to exercise some control over it. Anything you hear over and over again, you start to believe. That’s the way our minds work.

The first step to gaining that control is to monitor your thoughts and feelings. Then the necessary steps can be taken to change it for the better. As with all habits, these self-talk patterns can be challenging to change, but doing so will really boost your happiness. Get started today!

But how can you slow down the clock?

One of the critical keys to aging well is getting plenty of antioxidants. Surely you’ve heard that antioxidants are good for your health. But why, exactly, are they so important? And how do they help slow the aging process?

Antioxidants have the ability to neutralize free radicals. Studies indicate that the damage caused by free radicals can cause major diseases, including cancer, as well as contribute significantly to the aging process. So antioxidants help protect you from disease and slow down the effects of aging.

Here are some essential antioxidants and where you can find them:

1. Vitamin C. This is a very important antioxidant, and perhaps the best known for its deficiency disease, scurvy.

• Vitamin C is also essential for collagen production in the building of skin, blood vessels, and cartilage. It has been shown to protect against heart disease, stress, and cancers. Some studies suggest vitamin C deficiency contributes to atherosclerosis.
• While most animals can synthesize their own vitamin C, humans cannot.
• Foods that are very high in vitamin C include red and green hot chili peppers, guavas, bell peppers, oranges, tangerines, kiwi, papaya and strawberries.

2. Vitamin E (alpha-tocopherol). Alpha-tocopherol is the most active form of vitamin E in humans. It primarily protects cell membranes by neutralizing the process where free radicals oxidize the cell membrane.

• Vitamin E is also associated with a decreased risk for prostate cancer and Alzheimer’s disease.
• This vitamin is found in high amounts in wheat germ oil, sunflower, and safflower oils. Other sources include almonds, olives, boiled spinach, and papaya.

3. Zinc. Zinc is important to over 200 enzymes, in the healing of wounds and sores, the formation of bone tissue, the production of proteins, the regulation of insulin, and in carbohydrate metabolism.

• The antioxidant effects of zinc are believed to protect the skin and muscles against accelerated aging processes.
• Approximately 2 billion people are deficient in zinc; studies indicate that this may contribute to the death of 800,000 children each year.
• Some foods high in zinc include oysters, wheat germ, liver, beans, sesame seeds, beef, and dark chocolate.

4. Carnosine. Found primarily in brain and muscle tissue, carnosine inhibits glycation, which is an uncontrolled reaction between a sugar and a protein or fat molecule. Glycation is believed to be a contributor to the aging process.

• Carnosine also has an action similar to vitamin E and prevents free radical processes in cell membranes.
• The sources with the highest levels of carnosine include beef, pork, chicken, fish, and dairy.

5. Flavonoids. These have a general antioxidant activity and are believed to be one of the reasons fruits, vegetables, wine, and tea have a positive effect on the body.

• Several studies suggest flavonoids can have a preventative action for cancers and cardiovascular disease. It’s believed they also are anti-inflammatory and anti-viral.
• Over 3,000 flavonoids have been identified so far.
• These chemicals are another excellent reason to eat your fruits and vegetables.
• Flavonoids are even found in coffee and beer.

Antioxidants have a crucial role in the human body, minimizing the oxidative stress and damage, which is implicated in many diseases and the aging process. Ensuring you have a sufficient (but not excessive) intake is beneficial to your health.

A good rule to follow is to include one or more foods at each meal that include antioxidants. Just like your mom always told you, eat your fruits and vegetables!

Try these dating tips for single parents:

1. Vow to keep your parenting life and your dating life separate until appropriate. Consider your dating life as an activity you do the occasional evening as an adult social activity.

2. Strive to achieve a certain balance in your life. Ensure that how you spend your time on a day-to-day basis demonstrates your life’s priorities.

3. Avoid involving your children with everyone you date. One of the most difficult things for a child after his parents separate is being exposed too soon to a parent’s “new” partner.

•  Protect your kids from uncomfortable feelings by not involving them with your dates.
•  Recognize that, even if you really like someone you’ve gone out with 2 or 3 times, you don’t know for sure at that point that the relationship will “work out” and become long-term. If you involve your child and it doesn’t work out, your child is again placed in the vulnerable position of feeling rejected, left behind and hurt.

4. Set limits regarding dating and parenting efforts with your children. Be upfront and honest about how much time you’ll spend with someone you date.

•  For example, if you feel you can’t be out past a certain time or can’t go out two nights in a row because of your parenting duties, be open about it. Doing so shows you’re clear and confident about what’s important to you.

5. Share your feelings with the person you’re dating. If you’re disappointed you’re unable to spend more time with the person you’re dating, tell them.

•  This way, they’ll know what you’re going through and hopefully grow to understand your position as a parent who’s striving to have a healthy social life.

6. Let your kids know that they’re your first priority. Regardless of just telling them so, demonstrate through your behavior that you love your kids and are interested in all their activities.

• Make a major effort to attend your kids’ school functions and extracurricular activities, such as sports, dance and music recitals.

7. From time to time, talk with your children in general about your dating life. Tailor your talk based on the age of your children.

•  Explain that you like to have fun with other adults and that there will be times that you go out with friends.
•  Let them know a couple of days in advance that you’ll be going out.

8. Your time out can be an opportunity to make life interesting and fun for your kids. For example, occasionally, let them stay over with Grandma and Grandpa when you have a date. Your kids most likely enjoy spending time with their grandparents.

• Or find a teenager close by that you know and trust. Usually, kids love to have teenagers for babysitters.
• As long as you know the kids will be well cared for and safe, make the time they spend without you fun.

You can truly enjoy this time of your life. Even though you’re a parent, you can set aside time to date. Make an effort to balance your single-parenting life and your dating life. When you do, you’ll discover the joys of both.

If you had more courage, maybe you could ask for that raise you’ve been waiting for, feel more confident in closing that next sale, or even invite the girl of your dreams to go out on a date! The possibilities are endless!

But what is courage, really? Courage is the ability to continue moving forward even in the face of challenge, adversity, and fear.

Without fear, there could be no bravery. So being courageous is largely about managing fear as best you can and still taking the best action available to you.

Courage Is Like A Psychological Muscle.

Being brave is similar to lifting weights. The more you participate, the easier it becomes. Alternatively, the more you’re willing to use and accept fear as an excuse not to move forward, the easier that path becomes. You get good at the things you practice regularly.

To cultivate courage:

•  Start out by making a list of the things that you’re afraid to do but wish you weren’t. These can be things like asking out the cute guy in the finance department, doing karaoke, starting your own business, or leaving a bad relationship.
•  Now put that list in order from least fearful to most fearful.
•  Begin at the top and work your way down.

These strategies will help you develop the courage to tackle your list and move on to even bigger things:

1. Decide that you’re going to conquer your fears. The simple act of making a decision means you’ve cut yourself off from all other possibilities. So declare to yourself that you’re going to tackle your fears one at a time.

2. Accept the fact that there will be some fear. Fear can frequently be decreased, but sometimes not completely eliminated. Remember that living courageously means dealing with some level of fear but going forward anyway.

3. Develop the idea that fear isn’t a good excuse to avoid doing something. Unless you’re going to fall off a cliff, being afraid is an ineffective way of choosing your course of action.

•  As mentioned above, if you get into the habit of not acting due to fear, continuing on that path only becomes easier.
•  Try to start basing your decisions on what you’d like to have in your life, rather than on what you don’t want (the fear).

4. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Many times your knee-jerk reaction is to feel fear in a given situation, but you might find out the worst that can happen isn’t that bad.

5. Reward yourself. After you complete one of your list items, give yourself a treat. Be proud of yourself; you certainly earned it!

6. Recognize that feelings of fear and excitement are very closely related. Is a rollercoaster exciting or scary? It’s a thin line for most people. Horror movies are a similar experience. The difference between excitement and terror can be difficult to ascertain.

• Try telling yourself you’re just really excited the next time you take action to do something on your list.

7. Use every tool at your disposal to minimize your fear and have faith in yourself. All kinds of things can help! Here are some suggestions:

•  Faith
•  Meditation
•  Hypnosis
•  Therapy
•  Practicing your values and principles
•  Prayer

You can live courageously. Put the above plan into action today. The key is to start small and move forward from there. Remember that being courageous is all about taking action in spite of fear, not the absence of fear. There’s no time like the present to cultivate your courage.

Minimizing Inner Distractions

1. Get more sleep. Eight hours of sleep is a good rule to follow for most, but there are individual differences. If your thinking gets dreamy and you fall asleep whenever you sit down, it’s a warning sign you need more slumber.

2. Exercise and eat well. Your mind works better when you keep your body fit. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise daily and eat a balanced diet with lots of vegetables, whole grains, lean protein and some healthy fats.

3. Sit up. Just sitting up straight can help keep your mind from sinking. Tighten those abdominal muscles to support a straight back. Relax your shoulders and draw them back so your neck and head fall into alignment.

4. Make yourself comfortable. Good posture feels good when you get used to it. Pay attention to your body. Shift positions if your foot is starting to fall asleep or if your legs need more room.

5. Take deep breaths. Breathing fully from your diaphragm helps carry more oxygen to your brain and makes it easier to manage your thoughts. It’s one reason why meditation sessions often start with breathing exercises.

Minimizing Outer Distractions

1. Limit your time online. Studies show that checking email is one of the biggest ways we waste time these days. Resolve to finish writing that report before you let yourself log onto Facebook or play another video game.

2. Watch less TV. If TV is consuming too much of your time, keep the set turned off unless there’s something special you want to watch. You’ll avoid the temptation to channel surf.

3. Turn off your phone. Try turning your phone off when urgent calls are unlikely. You can check your voice mail later for any calls you need to return.

4. Let people know when you need to avoid interruptions. Try to develop systems for letting kids and co-workers know when you need to avoid non-emergency interruptions. You might designate some regular hours if you work at home or let colleagues know you’ll be tied up until later in the morning.

5. Create a peaceful atmosphere. Clearing away clutter can help you settle down to work. Put next week’s agenda out of sight if it’s drawing your attention away from this morning’s projects.

Working With Distractions

1. Bring your mind back to your task. Distractions will still arise, but you can make them less lengthy. Monitor your thoughts so you can promptly return your focus to your work.

2. Remain neutral. Put aside judgmental thoughts. Instead of feeling guilty about getting off track sometimes, take notice of your progress and reward yourself.

3. Loosen up. Even Zen masters remain aware of their surroundings while meditating. If you’re contending with leaf blowers and car alarms, be patient and wait them out.

4. Examine recurring thoughts. A nagging thought could indicate an issue that’s important to address. Maybe you need to talk with your aging mother to ensure she’s getting proper medical care or maybe you just need to get your oil checked.

Daily life is full of distractions, but you can often prevent them or find ways to manage their impact on your ability to concentrate. By stilling your mind, you’ll feel more relaxed and adept at everything you need to do.